alone and afraid

schools out and its been less than a day and i feel alone and afraid, i feel like i have a very limited list of friends and i am not definitely at not their first person to call guy.

its scary being alone in my head its destructive and sad. i feel horrible in my heart, even though it sounds stupid but i feel bad for my self.

Distraction’s 

So I have exams tomorrow and I really want to use the internet but my data has been used up this early in the month. No surprise there but it’s really weird not being connected to the world . I really want to use the internet but it’s just that it’s very distracting and I won’t be able to focus on studying but rather browsing the internet and not caring for the exams.  

I mean it’s not a big deal exam but its still an exam that I have to pass, but I doubt I’ll be able to beat the guy who’s trying to beat me and I think he will this time but I hope he won’t be able too.

Focus is a bitch 

I can not seem to focus at all or it’s more like I do not want to focus because I’m in no mood to study for my exams next week.  

I’m lazy and I’m sleepy and I can not seem to stop watching TV shows or playing around. 

I need to focus to win but I do not think I’ll win this time. 

Taunting and hungry 

I got a phone, taunting,  like I said I’m very happy that I finally got a phone but being reminded every single day by your mother how much it cost and making it sound like your not worth spending money on can actually destroy your soul from within and I would know because Iam feeling this right now and it’s crushing me really badly.  Iam at the point where I don’t want the phone anymore because the constant taunting of my mother just makes me want to die. 

Now for the hungry part.  My mom went to the capital to my sisters place and she left me here with my dad.  She promised me that I would have pizza but now she changes the whole thing.  Now that I’m pissed and don’t want to eat she says I have to go and get or else she won’t talk to me, considering the fact that she cancelled it in the first I don’t know why she has to be the saint in all of this.  

Plus my exams are coming out and I don’t think I have what it takes to become a doctor.  I just wish I was capable of being a doctor,  being honest it’s a cool job that I’d love doing and it pays well too.  Win win I’d say.  

New Phone 

So I got a new phone just like yesterday and I’m addicted to it. I can’t seem to get my hands off of it. It’s a regular response for me I guess. 

So I downloaded the wordpress app on my new phone and hope to be in check with the blog more often. But have difficulty in typing flawlessly since I’m used to writing on big things.